On a recent road trip, my husband and I discussed many things. One of which was my increasing struggles with feeling more and more negativity against those who leave the church and then turn around and disparage, not only members but church leaders. Especially those who are "famous" and who had once used their public platforms to share their testimonies only to then fall away and begin to take on the mindset of the mortal limited perspective. They begin to call for change within the church, stating that the Leaders are out of touch and need to change their beliefs to fit the world's ideals of what should be accepted and what shouldn't.
Try as I might, I always find myself in the comment section of religious posts. Though the posts themselves can be great and seemingly innocuous, there is always someone that has something negative to say. I may even start to write out a response to that person only to delete it because I feel there's no point in trying to convince you of the truth when you have already hardened yourself against it. I would be wasting my energy but then I obsess over it the rest of the day and it continues to occupy my energy regardless.
When I speak of those "famous" people I imagine in the beginning that they prayed for Heavenly guidance and interference. Maybe even promising that they would use their public platforms to spread the gospel and then once those prayers have been answered proceed to throw the church and their membership under the proverbial bus.
There is one person in particular that I am thinking of. I was never a fan and I always find it strange when members fangirl/boy over any individual in the church but I digress. He recently came out of the closet. Now, I really don't care that he's gay or whatever he has come out as. I think we can all agree that we knew something was up in that arena.
That being said, I attended my one and only Time Out For Women years ago, where he happened to be a guest speaker. He told us a story about how he was awakened in the middle of the night with a tune in his head and that it happened several times throughout the night until finally he sat at the piano and wrote it and knew without a shadow of a doubt it was from the Lord. So, of course, he graciously sang it for us and even called it a sneak peek of his new album that he just so happened to have waiting for us in the lobby and at a discounted price. How magnanimous.
Did he lie? Was it all BS?
I recently came across another post from him. I was looking at the feed of another creator and this person was tagged in one of his videos. It was titled, playing my new song for my friends or something to that effect. Before playing this song he mentioned that when he came out his mother didn't talk to him for a few days and he thought it was because she was upset but once they did speak she said she was stepping away from the church too. Wow. How supportive, how loving, right?
Anyway, I share that not because HE upsets me but it's what he represents that does like all the other ex-members who find solace in the reciprocating voices of dissent and believe themselves right.
How do you combat this? How do you share your testimony of the gospel with them? How do you not cross the line between support and condoning because the world thinks these things are synonymous?
I just have such a strong testimony of Christ that I can't imagine ever leaving or denying it.
The Lord says: "...for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them." 3 Nephi 18:32
His hand is stretched out still but I feel mine recoiling. How does He love them unconditionally when they continue to crucify him anew? How can I? What must I do to change my perspective and reach out in pure love even if they spit at my feet? How do I have grace and compassion for those who know better and yet still turn away?
I have friends and family who have left the church and it makes me sad but I still love them and wish they would come back. I still love them because I know them. I suppose I have answered my own question of 'how does He love them?'. It's because he knows them. He knows them better than they know themselves. He suffered for them the same as me.
Still, how do you not get frustrated? How do you become a defender of the faith and of Christ without contention?
My patriarchal blessing states that I will have the pure love of my Savior in my heart but clearly, I am not there yet. I do pray for Charity but I have not sought it sincerely and diligently but I know I need to because I fear my own soul is in jeopardy if I don't.
